Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
from now on my penis is your penis
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
