ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This is my gift to your gina
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
