And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
