Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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