He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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