The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
