i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
