Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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