It's Friday. Sex?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize