I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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