office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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