I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
