I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
