if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize