I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
