So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
