at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize