I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
