You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize