Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
