So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
