I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
