he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
