It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
