you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
