Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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