I wanna passion pit in your ass
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
