We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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