We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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