Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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