I'm jealous of your bromance
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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