He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize