Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
