In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
