He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize