Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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