This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
