I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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