I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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