Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
