I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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