i already hear my dad disowning me
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Alive.
So much puke
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
