Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
