I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
