Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize