My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
