we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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