I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
