it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
