Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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