i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
