two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just want to make out with him forever
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
