Having a random hookup so left but love u
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
