I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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